Feel for freedom

I long to be free of scorn and troublesome

matters of seldomly believing in you. I truly want to believe. I have not seen any miracles 

come my way. I'm hesitant, too. You think that I'm weak and helpless without you. I would never say fuck off or make a mishap. I want to be good and stay that way. I'm not a boy but perhaps. I'll never get my chance to truly change. I want to make arrangements and lose weight. I want to grow my hair and replace what's missing. I want to be near perfect although there is no such thing.

I want my own features just minimize my nose. A little rounder cuter and suck up my neck and jowls. And get my breasts done and go post op as you know. I once was before.

But now I cling to a birth identity. Now I'd rather be femme and at home. I don't want to mince words with you I just want to achieve my dream and few goals or two. And till then I look for nothing from anyone. Thank you for shielding me from the malicious truth.

I do see perfection when I feel you as an earthly being amongst the many beings.

I'm not superior to anyone. I have long way to go before I have fun. I have to live my life.

It's just circumstance I want to live life as a girl and I don't make plans. I don't have any wish to be granted to me as long as my family is healthy. And few posers stop trying to be me. I don't look.down.on any of you. But I have never wanted to be like any of you. Ooh.

That is the truth. I'm just a girl stuck in a box for a few. Trapped by label and assumptions.

I'm not religious I am more spiritual. I long to be happy and I'm looking for the feul.