Icky Saint Nicky

The last time I was someone's type

I was donating blood

Tremors and wobbly knees

And all over arthritis

I am the last cyborg 

Of grandfatheritis

I may be cataracts vision

And sniffles

So silent

I may be grizzly and dry

Or wet in my diapers

I'm almost a pirate

I'm almost Santa Claus

I'm Icky Saint Nicky

And been bitten by the love bug

French kisses so sloppy

And I ride around in a jalopy

With bells and whistles

And as for the red nose

My hind is red

For all that know

Ya know

And as for egg nog

It smells like terpentime

Merry Christmas

Bah humbug!