help me

I've always been mistreated and used and abused. I don't have control over my own finances. No sense of freedom. I know they love me but is it enough it doesn't feel like it today. Tonight I was day dreaming of fireflies talking to me as I trembled and sweat at the park while trembled. They are not making anything any easier. Days get worse than get better. I'd be better off dead. I swallowed gasoline once. It didn't kill me and now I'm hoping chlorox or anti freeze or Windex will do the trick. I don't know. I just want my life to end because I don't ever think it will get better anytime soon. And when it will I'll be too old to enjoy it. That's my problem tonight.

I know all of this is crazy but I don't know how to cure my blues. Help me take my life so I don't suffer any longer....don't take this too seriously which none ever does.

I'll just fall asleep and begin my day anew tomorrow 🌸