All I said and say

After all has been said and done

Do I have a standing in righteousness

Do I have a consciousness

A conversation with a greater mind

Oh wow 

It would be so sublime

I'm not myself right now

I'm not like this all the time

I have to empower myself somehow

Express myself in due time

That doesn't give me permission

To speak foolishly at any given time

I must savor the moment 

I open my mouth

And sometimes swallow foolish pride

I must allow for it to be inconvenient

Or inappropriate anyhow

Irony is a friend to me

So is the question of why 

And to just let things just certainly be

I'm not so righteous

Or ambivalent

Or blase to everything

I'm not a paragon of virtue or certainty

I can be very wishy- washy

And I wash my self relentlessly

To undo the scar of neglect and abuse

I cherish the moments of clarity

I cherish the moments of fun and silence

The rhythm and the rhyme 

The prose and the time and melody

I can finally be myself

Not too far from crazy

I can be... Me

All I said and say is I can be me

A sad soft spoken melodic lullaby

But at least and it's important

I do try

I'm trying to hold on to my clear my mind

And my joyous spirit

I do this all the time

I do atleast have my peace of mind

And pieces of me scattered about my homeland and other places far away

Atleast I do try

And that is key 

To be yourself

That is what I have found

The light within me

A place to worship is the sun 

The sky the water earth and the moon

The mysterious prescensce of someone

Who guides me and to tell you the truth

The difference

Is what it takes to be me

Risk or surviving 

Hopefully thriving

I may never be the victor in this battle

But I fight I do love I'm a lover

I do try