I died suddenly

I died suddenly 

And relatively had no brain activity

I tried to move and suddenly realized

I couldn't move and I had no heart beat

But I imagined a thump to replace

The stolen missing heart beat 

As the voices came to my great shame

And passed judgement on me

First they came to praise me 

Then they turned fickle and judged me 

I took total responsibility for everything

I said in the past present and future

And for the words that regurgitated 

In my mouth

My thoughts and ideas and things 

I was figuring out as a kid

How I thought people with AIDS 

Ate shit when it was puddings and custard

And mashed up fruit porridge and farina

And how once I was fascinated by fame 

But I never wanted to be in a feature 

And people have features 

How I appreciated them all 

I would celebrate and revel

And oh how I was punished for even this

My poor private school education

Never prepared me for this

And how when I left Koraes 

I went to multi ethnic school

That I loved even though I was truent

I apologized and heard voices of famous

People promising their love and devotion

If I would sign on the dotted line

That I would be worship if I had a scandal

And all because we flirted from time

To time and this ambitious rhyme 

Is to tell you it isn't worth it 

Because people aren't color blind

And people don't want judgement 

For their lifestyle or way

And if your boy who dresses like a girl

Are you a tranny or simply gay

What does it all mean

I'm not curious for fame

I wish these voices would leave me 

I pray to God 

And I guess that's all right

My rhymes are heavy 

And my flow is tight

But I can barely speak

For I am vision impaired now 

And hard of hearing 

But I still see them and hear them

It's like my death bed on repeat

My day of judgement

But they want no judgement 

The irony depletes me 

And my elevated hemoglobin makes me

Weary and dazed 

I'm not really confused

But when they constantly tell me 

There is no God

And I've had an exorcism performed on me

I still believe 

This is a tug of war of what is right

And what is wrong

And I'm like a hollow vessel

That this is happening to or towards

To fight for whatever they consider 

Their battle or most precious right

But it's not like they party with me

And I want nothing from them

Because looks and things can be Decieving

I once was an escort and web cam doll

And adult entertainment cyber porn type

And street corner floosie 

I went to so many clubs 

Night club promoter extraordinaire

I even knew Miss Foozie 

And I let go of all of it

To leave a peaceful life 

And it doesn't bother me

But I died suddenly

And the voices keep bothering me