To Him

I realize I'm good...

I'm doing better..

I ate some good food....

I'm having some coffee...

And I'm being needy for my cigarettes....

I'm having my treats....

And turns out I'm not that desperate....

I can handle rejection...

Truth be told I thought I was molested;

By a priest then an older man,

Date rape is a distant vague memory...

I realize I'm good...

I'm not plagued by voices...

And things I cannot change...

No abnormal brain structure...

No abnormal brain transmitters..

Nothing wrong with my brain...

I guess my problems began... 

With stress and trauma...

From my childhood...

And I may be a fucked up personality...

A shy sweet kid that always 

Wanted to be a poutana....

But I am just good...

That's all I ever wanted to truly be....

And maybe there is real love...

Out there waiting for me...

I have my faith in the sweet Lord...

May he always embrace me....

I have proclaimed my love for him...

May he take me..

To Him..