Promises

I have to find a new way to express myself.

I have to find a new way to unleash my feelings. I have to control my emotions.

Let my inhibitions go. I have to let my whims guide me. I have to search within my soul. I have to find my muse. I have to not participate in the bougiousie or the rebellion. I must learn to lose control.

I have to let go of my ego. My vanity.

My materialism. And express myself.

I can't settle for second best. Or play the victim. Or oh no poor sorry me. I have to push harder- fight tougher- and find my thrill. Ecstasy. I have to try a little harder.

I must play a little clever. And find my thrilling ecstasy. My dreams can open the door to my soul where I will find inspiration and my muse. I have to open my eyes and look around my world and go past my existence and find my purpose and ofcourse my destiny. I have to try a little harder. And keep my faith that I will be worn, and tired and almost broken, but I will rise to the occasion. I will make it through the rain and the thunderstorm.

I will make it through the violence and be jiggy and I will say stories of Johnny and Mary Sue. I will find my way through my pain. I will have my pride in America although I have had plenty of disdain. I will keep my faith. I will place it in God's hands. I will find my place. My purpose.

My destiny. I will help others. I will destroy my ego. I will let my whims diminish. I will seek out the spiritual and the holy.

I will let God guide me. And let go of my personal past and present in order to have a future of happiness.