Grateful and Thankful

My birthday falls on Thanksgiving Day this year. And so far I pierced my ears. 

And I have been in panic mode as to what is gonna change this year of my life.

And it seems I'm up to my same old tricks and stunts. I've been through so much. And I've grown a lot. Gone is where my hair used to be.

And gone are the nightclubs. Gone is some people's respect for me. But what can I do?

I guess I'll pull one last stunt for the highway.

One more for the road. I can't do these things at forty- two. Now, because I'm old. I'm saving for a Cartier bracelet. I want a couple rings and some earrings. But my favorite things are my blessed prayer bracelets - they are called komboskeni. I've learned a lot this year. I've certainly have lived an interesting life. And I'm always in trouble my dears. My worst fears are coming true. But what can I do? I guess that's up to me and not you. You are more concerned with your life and whatever ails you. I understand this much because I go through it myself. I guess only God and Jesus Christ can only save you. But what will become of me...

I still have these foolish wants and needs, I have to let go of that and concentrate on me.

I have to let go of foolish people from my life.

I can't live with negativity. I'm doing so well right now. I have mastered my emotions completely. I don't give in to my impulses as frequently. I reserve my excitement for much more grander things than jewelry. I get excited for spending time with my cousins and my family. I talk to my aunts and my mother, so I guess I'm doing fine. I can't ask for anything.

I guess I'll be forty- two living at home for one more year. I have to pace myself to accomplish my goals in the coming year. I will live by myself eventually. I will see that day come.

I guess I'm thankful and grateful that I haven't totally lost my mind. I don't lack in many things.

Atleast, I have my life.

I don't fear many things or people.

I don't fear death or judgement.

My conscience is clean.

I don't fear that I will live my life in complete misery. I don't want anything for my birthday. I guess I will settle for what I have. Which is more than most.

So I am grateful and thankful.

I can do without what I lack.