Everything

I don't know if I was possessed by the devil. Or if I was touched by God.

I don't know if this is my illness.

Or if I've done something beyond my comprehension. I sometimes feel peace and elation. Joy and bitterness. Happiness and sorrow. But never jealousy. I have been greedy and very lazy. Although I've worked since I was a young child. I don't know if this is my guilt. Or my judgement or redemption. Perhaps a tale of redemption in high heels or something less glorious. I know I have been blind to my faults for a long time. And it's time I look inside to see what I may find.

I don't know if this is redemption or judgement or something spiritual or just my guilt or my punishment. It could be my illness. I know I was touched by something. I've been so moved. My heart is full of love. And I hope someday when it is over I can rest in the comfort of being at peace with myself, and my family. My loved ones and friends. My God and everyone and everything.