Trying my best

With just one stick of a needle/

And another following to the other ear/

I celebrate the voices or I destroyed them/

I put the Virgin Mother on both of my ears/

To protect me and keep me safe/

Keep me safe and whole/ Who would have thought with two holes in my ear/ Maybe it's me but I feel like I have nothing to fear/ I'm whole/ Piercing my ears was symbolic/ No more Volatile voices/ I know longer feel weak on feet/ I know longer sit in my vile bile and vomit/ I wear my cross/ A ruby ring/ A signet of the North Star/ A citrine/ I have one tattoo of Vergina Sun Star/ And two earrings of Panagia/ From few years ago I have come so far/ I don't know if I'm a poet or an artist/ I no longer wish to be provocateur/I want to be in the bossum of my family/ I want to pray/ And thank God for my progress/ There is still so much more to do/ I don't find things funny/ or laugh at misfortune/ My heart is becoming more pure/ I was once told it was made of gold/ But that person who told me ignores me/ I feel lost without him/ I don't blame him/ Certain people come into your lives at different moments/ We can't force people's wills/ I will try to be good and hopefully I will be good rather than ill/ Everybody has suffered I'm not the only one/ I only will try my best to worthy of God's mercy. I can only try my best/ And as much as I have suffered/ There is one, Jesus, who suffered more than me/ He died for all of our sins. I want his love/

And maybe my reality will be more pleasant/ I've always was promised the sun, moon, earth and stars and very many presents/ But to continue on my journey towards the light/ I may have to live like a peasant/ One never knows what The Almighty has in store for us/ Only He really knows/ but I'm trying to be a better person/ because few times things got out of control/ Only when I prayed and did my cross/ Prayed to the Holy Trinity/ Asked the Theotokos to watch over me/ Asked Jesus to forgive me for being once agnostic/ I felt his presence/ I felt forgiven/ And rather than dwell and fall back into my old ways/ I remain celebate/ I don't have sex/ I don't masturbate/ I have to keep trying and devote my life to God/ In my little small ways and hopefully I will eventually do something great with what I have been given/ God gave me life/ Maybe this is it/ I will not assume I will make it to heaven/ But I will continue to try/ My silent promise and prayer to God/ That I embraced my faith again and hopefully as it is written/ When I see the return and I see him in the clouds/ And I hear the great voice/ He will take me with him