A place of my own

If I only knew I was alone in a room full of people- I would have left long ago. If I only knew that everything I would say would be swept under a rug- I would have wept long ago. If I only knew to use less product in my hair and leave it healthy I would have aged so gracefully but I didn't know it before. I was warned about my friends that they were users and loser for sure- long ago. I held the wrong thing with such value. I idolized the stars and fame. I never wanted it for myself but it made things less lame and tame. Ive been used by plenty but I know I have a brand new start.

No mysterious strangers or meetings in the dark. No public freak or super Sonic club light beams and mirrored water falls.

I can't go chasing after them not even the rivers or the streams. I've never climbed a mountain, but I feel I've scaled Everest.

If I only knew I'd be alone no matter who ever was around I would have moved out, long ago. I only hope for the best. I'm not really pessimistic. I'm a pertual optimist.

And I know I have to be realistic. Nothing is perfect. But I need a place of my own.

The only thing I have is this page.

And now I'm moving on alone.

I need a place- a place of my own.

I'm not looking to compare or see who comes out on top. I'm not looking to be reckless or panic at the drop of water.

I know I'll struggle somewhat but others have done it before. I have come close and I need a place of my own. Something I could have to use my ideas. I need to share my life experience and contribute to society. Be productive at any age. Ageism is a curious thing. But nonetheless. I need a place of my own. If I only knew how many people would oppose me. Make it more difficult for me. Take me for granted.

Treat me like dirt and like gum underneath their shoe- that they don't pay any mind to.

I need a place of my own.